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Aftermath

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  Commitment is rather a hard decision to make, especially for people who know what it's like to have their hearts broken. As soon as someone brings up future plans or genuinely shows interest in them , they get scared and they build up an instant wall. It's not a matter of maturity, but rather allowing yourself to heal and learn to break those barriers and surpass the trust issues. When you get your heart broken, your whole system shuts down. You don't know who to believe anymore and new experiences frighten you. Some people can even close themselves off for years because of one bad experience. And that's totally understandable. Moving on is one of the hardest things a human being can attempt to do and it's simply not achieved by a few motivational quotes and some pep talk from your best friend. It takes a whole lot of self esteem building and self love to be able to get through it with a mended heart and be able to start over. But the most important thing to keep ...
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You 2.0

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  At times you feel like the world is caving in on you, like your throat is shrinking, keeping you from breathing. Your heart feels heavy and you can’t bear the weight of your emotions anymore. And you think to yourself. How much longer can you survive this ? how long can you last before that anger comes out ? before people notice ? You don’t want them to know. You won’t let it show . you try so hard. Your sadness will be deemed as weakness or hormonal. Your temper will be met with side eyes. They don’t know what it’s like ; what it’s like to be hiding your struggles from the world and holding it all in. They have no idea what it’s like to fake strength for others, to be the good person they’ve known you to be. You get angrier as you feel your chest tightening and suffocating you into silence. Why can’t they be understanding like you ? why can’t they relate like you do ? why do you have to deal with it on your own when it is you who supported th...
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You

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Don't kill them with kindness, they're not worth it. Negligence is bliss; in this case it's true. You ignore and you move on. You kill them with success and thriving. Actually, you don't even have to kill them. Because envy and bitterness will eat away at their hearts. Inferiority will ruin them and their small self-sense will tear apart every piece of their monstrous soul. They can't bring you down anymore or make you feel small. They lost that power over you. Because you learned. You learned that you don't need anybody's approval or praise to feel good about yourself. You don't need to impress anybody because you know your worth and what they think can't affect you anymore. Their words don't matter, they don't stick the way they used to. Their words fall to the ground like the leaves of Autumn before they could get to you. And you prosper. You grow and bloom into the real you. The person you were all along; deep inside. The one you've...
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P.S. I Love Me

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Your own heart despises you for you handled it in the ugliest manners. You're a thief of everything beautiful in life; of joy; of blissful memories. You're a thief of innocent promises and dreams. You stole the light igniting our candles of wishes, dimmed our souls and made our days somber. We were wasted in romance and drenched in pure faithfulness. You tore it apart. Without a care, you betrayed our imaginary future together and the plans we once committed to. You were once my lover, now you're just a memory that has fallen from the tree of my existence; dry, worn out and soon to be forgotten. You, of all people, knew. You knew my strengths and my weaknesses. You knew how to get to me. You were the wolf in disguise. Loving you was a lesson. The teacher was cruel and heartless. But I graduated.
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Start Within

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Being nice and forgiving somehow makes people think you owe them things. When you give too much, they start believing that they deserve more. And when you suddenly stop, they tend to think you'll just come crawling right back. Because you've done it before. You always go back. To that toxic relationship, to that hellish job. It takes a lot of courage and self esteem to run away from it all. And frankly it's even more challenging to be yourself again after going through all that. Your mind always drags you back to the loving memories, casting a shadow on the things that actually hurt you and made you suffer. The journey to gaining who you truly are back can be detrimental. You may dive into depression and close yourself off from the world. Instead of moving on, you get stuck questioning your worth. "Am I not good enough?" "Did I do something wrong" "Was it something I said?" "Am I not worthy of happiness?" But these questions only bir...
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You can make it !

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    Somehow, troubles always find their way back. Life has its way of showing you it's not done with you yet. Just when you think you got it all figured out, it strikes again. Things crumble back down in ways you never imagined. Everything goes south and you can't find your way out of the rubble. You go back to feeling depressed, lonely and cornered. "Why me ?" you think to yourself, when you actually know other people have it worse. But at that moment, you're only seeing black. Life is unfair. And if you believe, then your god is biased. Bad memories abide in your mind and you lose every bright picture you ever had. Suddenly, your life is back to gloomy and you're miserable. You hate your life, you want to die and rest in peace. You want to end it all and forget about what's driving you crazy. You think about it for a few minutes but you know you will never do it. Not because of your beliefs or your fear of the after life but you're a coward. You don...
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From potential serial killer to friend for life ?

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When do you ever get to know a stranger and they invite you to a picnic to meet 20 other awesome people? Most people would fear for their lives, or would consider the chance of running into a serial killer but for me it was a huge opportunity to meet different mindsets of different backgrounds at the same time. It was a chance I could not pass. It all started on an app called Couchsurfing . It's an app where you can host foreigners traveling in your country or look for hosts yourself in the countries or cities you're traveling to. My destination was Turkey. I was traveling abroad for the first time and I needed to find a way to get to know people and possibly make friends as fast as possible. I posted on the app hoping to find a few girls who were down to meet or host both me and my friend. It didn't take me long enough till I got a reply from the coolest girl I've ever met in my life. A girl from Moldova living in Turkey. I thought wow she's the "one" b...
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